Undutchable

She’s terrible, running away from her house for the sake of freedom she wishes to get; Wandering together with her friends at night after playing pool billiard and walking in the middle of the main street as no vehicle’s to be seen. She thinks it’s a freedom she enjoys, without having to realise that it’s a temporary one. She hides herself every time she thinks that her mom’s driving through the street, every time she sees the same type of car her mother has, a green Suzuki Escudo that is. The car just looks the same as another Escudos, but she can recognise whether it’s her mom’s car or not. A big blue sticker with the word Ocean Pacific on the top centre of the front side, on the glass and B 151 PW is the license plate, which makes the car so unique that she can recognise it quickly at night.

She and her friends used to have a basecamp which now has become a dangerous place to meet up after her escape. They always watch out while walking on its street as they all knew they’ll be questioned once one of her family members meet them. That place is no longer their basecamp and they decide to move. Every night she’s thinking of the place she’s going to sleep, but she’s lucky that her friends always accompany her and manage a place to sleep. They’re happy to have a few of friends who already live by their own and welcome them to stay there temporarily.

Playing pool is their daily activity, it’s something which is a ‘must-do’ for them, or at least, for her. They still enjoy playing after hours. Cafe Bali is one of their favourites. The background music, the Balinese sphere, a billiard table in the middle of the hall and the bar make the place very cozy, it’s indeed one of a nice moments they’re enjoying. Nevertheless, the party is a non-alcohol one. Late at night when they have to leave, she and one of her female friends decide to sleep at another friend’s house. Although she doesn’t know her friend she has no other option, they step into a small bus.

It’s a big house, a fat girl opens the door and welcomes us.
“Are your parents at home?” asks my friend.
“No, they’re in another city, they don’t come home tonight. Just come in!”
Her friend apparently stays there only with her housemaids. Not long after that, her other friends come home, she also invites two guys, one of them has a backpack. All the people there are strangers for her and she has no idea why they’re there. She sees a strange stuff on the table, doesn’t realise that it’s a bong, nor does she know what it is for. Later at night they start using a strange stuff which she, again, has no idea what it is. The colour is white and it looks like a powder, and they start to sniff it into their noses. Then she realises it’s a drug, and those two people are drugs dealers. Although they give it over to another, she doesn’t try it, nor does she dare. However, her friend gives a warning sign not to try it, but she herself uses it. It’s an awful night as she sees a bag full of drugs. She sees needles, cocain, heroin; In short, it’s an unforgetable moment for her and she realises that she’ll turn 17 on the next day.

She has to meet her other friend on the next day, whom also is her friend’s friend. Three of them are the girls who escaped from their homes. She has to go to the basecamp to meet her, but on that day she doesn’t have a good feeling, as if something worse will happen, she feels as if her freedom will end that day. On her birthday. But she forces herself and goes to the basecamp, looking for her other friend. She meets another friends who tell her that a few of people are looking for her; Her friend and…her uncle. She gets shocked, not only because she heard it, but also because her feeling is true. She starts running away to a music studio which is located next to a shopping centre and sits on a sofa opposite to a desk. She sweats. Barely can breath.
“Yes, that person you’re looking for is here” says a man behind his desk.
She barely can hear what he said as she’s still trying to take a breath.
Not long after that, she hears a footsteps that sound very familiar to her, coming from the front door.
“Please, come home now!” yells her mom while she takes her hand and brings her to the car.
“I am not going with you!” she says, trying to loosen her grip.
She tries to escape, but her slippers are almost broken, and she knew she can’t escape anymore. She can forget her birthday party which she has planned to celebrate at her friend’s house on that day. Her mom drives her car to her uncle’s house. There she realises that all her family members present as if they knew she should come home on that day. On her birthday.

Her mother sits in the dining room, crying, while her aunt starts questioning her.
“Why did you run away?”
“I got enough of her slap”
“I slap my kids also if they’ve gone too far”
“Your kids are guys. I am a girl.”
“It’s how your mom punishes you.”
“No. It’s an abuse.”
“But you could have talked with her so that she won’t do it again.”
“I tried! But I am stuck! Running away from her was my only option to change my home situation! To let her know that I am not kidding. Today I am 17. I want it all to change, from today and now on.”
“What do you wish to change?”
“My home situation, including how she handles me. I just wish that she can talk to me in a good manner, also when she thinks I’ve done something wrong. There’s no need to slap and shout at me. It doesn’t help, really.”

But they think she’s just a bad girl who escaped from her house because she only wanted to be free and be with her friends. They then bring her to a hospital for urine check. In short, they think she has used some drugs. She’s happy that she has not used any last night. Nobody believes her when she says she never uses any, it also doesn’t change their decision. At the hospital she has to fill the questions about how many times she uses drugs, what kind of drugs she uses, etc. Five times in a day. What kind of? Cock. Coca Cola. And then they give her a small, empty bottle. She goes into a toilet, comes out with her urine inside the bottle and give it back to them.
“Drink it 3 times a day. Hopefully you’ll still be healthy” she tells the guy who works there as she hands him her bottle of urine.
“And oh, if your body trills, just call my name 3 times! I’ll appear directly in front of you! I hope you don’t faint!” adds she. Winks naughtily at him and goes back to her seatplace next to her mom.
“Just trust me now, don’t worry, the result will be negative because I’ve never used drugs, I ran away from home, but I know what I do” she says, to her mom.
She walks outside and sits on the stairs while her mother and aunt are talking together, and she can see that her aunt is the one who suggested her mom to bring her to this hospital as she’s convinced that she used drugs.

A guy sits on the corner, his body trills as if he hasn’t used some drugs on that day, she looks at him and thinks that his parents don’t need to wait there any longer because she’s convinced that he’s a drug’s user. A few people there look at her as if she’s one of a drug’s users, she smiles sarcastically. On the other side she has no patience to wait for her result any longer, she keeps on looking at the workers who are busy giving questionnaires and the same small, empty bottles to the others. Not long after that, a male worker calls her name and she, her mom and aunt come there, with a curiousity she can see in their faces.

NEGATIVE. Both of her mom and aunt are shocked, mom comes closer at her and hugs her while her aunt doesn’t seem to believe it. N-E-G-A-T-I-V-E. She keeps on looking at the result as if the workers have done some mistake.
“What on earth are you thinking of?” asks she.
“No, nothing. I just thought that you’re mad because you used some drugs, I’m sorry.”
“Listen aunt, I can be mad, but I still know what I do. I am not out of my mind, what I told you is really the reason why I ran away from my house. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have done something like that.” she says, trying to convince her aunt.

Now, ten years later, the same girl is at her desk, having the freedom she has wished, but still doesn’t know sure about the definition of it. What kind of freedom? Freedom of hanging out with friends without prohibition? or freedom of speech? Or both? She’s now free to say anything she wants to, but too free to do anthing she wants and say anything she wants to. Does her mom let her do it because that’s all what she has wished? or because she’s now a mature lady? Or because her mom’s convinced that she knows what she does and why she does it? Or because she’s just uncontrollable?

Unanswered.