Undutchable

So, this blossom layout is finally up! I’ve actually made it a few months ago but the header, and the images background were messed up and I had no idea why, but yesterday I found out that making a transparent images and adding opacity in photoshop are the problem why I got a grey box on the header and images background when I viewed the site in IE 6. Besides that, I’ve also made a new layout on my portfolio site!

Nowadays I’m reading a book that’s written by Charles R. Swindoll, the book is about fascinating stories of the forgotten lives. This is an interesting book and I recommend you to buy, because it not only told you about those forgotten people, but it also explained you more about the famous people you knew from Old Testament. I said famous because I know you do know Abraham, Sara, Isaac, Jacob, etc, but I’m quite sure that you haven’t heard about Behalel and Aholiab, this is what makes this book interesting! Charles has clearly explained the stories in detail, from the story of Abraham whose faith has been tested by God to sacrify his son Isaac, he did it whole heartedly, without complain. Charles also compared it with our every day life, he said,”God, the Holy Ghost will show us how we live and die when we learn how to loosen whatever holds you.” He also said,”few of you parents may get the same situation when you read these pages. Your relation with your kid has probably reached a point where you have no choice but giving your kid completely to the protection of God.” At the time I was reading this part I realised that I myself was facing the same situation, the part when he wrote: how to loosen whatever holds you. Whatever and whoever. Last year, exactly in the month december, my life seemed to be held by a beloved one; I really felt I lost and I kept on asking,”God, please help me to comprehend why it had to end like this.”

When I read this part of what mr. Swindoll has written and thought about Abraham, he became my source about listening to God and doing what He asks you whole heartedly. Abraham was a good listener, a God fearing person. Because of his faith he could listen to God’s voice. From this story I realised that I’d held my beloved one too tight and my Lord has loosened my grip, which was painful. I started to learn how to whole heartedly loosen whatever and whoever that holds me very tight. In another people’s cases maybe it’s something else that they hold: money, work, dream, power, etc. As an old saying: never hold something too tight, for you may get a very deep disappointment when you lose it. I’m not saying that you have to loosen everything, but think when something has become your (negative) obsession like: money, job, etc. That being said that, everyone needs money, but when it has become your obsession you’ll become greedy (IMHO). Maybe you’re too obsessed with your job that you spend more time for your job than with your family who need your company. Once you lose it all you’ll face a greater disappointment than other people who are not too obsessed. Do you get my point? Okay, now what I’ve lost is a relationship whom I’ve held very tight. When I lost it I really felt a great disappointment, and sadness. But from this I tried my best to accept my loss, and thanks God I could. I’ve loosened and accepted it whole heartedly, this being said that I’ve forgiven what that person has done and said. I can say that I’ve never kept my anger and someone’s wrong deeds for a very long time.

The only person whom I had hated for a very, very, very long time was my father for what he had done in the past when I was still a kid. But then after growing up I started to learn why all of it had to happen, I kept on imagining what would happen if my parents have never been divorced. I got these answers in my head:
- an everlasting madness
- I would never move to this country and my future wouldn’t be that great (no, seriously! I wouldn’t know what kind of work I’d get as I’ve been dropped out of my school. But hey, I was dropped out because I knew I would move to Holland before I got a diploma, so why must I still go to school, anyway? *LOL*)
- It would be very difficult for me to find a good paid job :P
These things about were only my imagination, from this I realised that I had no reason to still hate him as it’s over and it’s a past time. I had no reason to still hate him because I believe that my good present time is an exchange from my bitter past time.

Where was I?!? I’ve spent 3 paragraphs only for my opinion about one Biblical story: Abraham. Wow! Mr. Swindoll has made the Bible come more alive!